This is not my week...

... or so it seems!

Okay, not all of this week was disappointing. I already told you about my PhD. There are some new developments:

• my grade is rounded down to 2,0 - which means that I fit the criteria
• there are two professors who are willing to take me on as a PhD student: my English Literature professor and my History Didactics professor
• the main problem, however, remains: financing another three years of study
• there are no PhD posts that are paid for social or language studies students - unfortunatley I have the wrong subjects - science or business students have quite better options
• scholarships are available, but I have to compete with all subjects, all degrees from all over Germany - it is an open secret that in some subjects a 2,0 is already a very "low" grade, which is completely the other way round for my degree in Bavaria, I am way above average! And: who supports a social studies or language students, there is no profit in such a student for business companies or research orientated companies!
  
• unfortunately the only thing my two professors can offer is that they support a scholarship application - which means I have to bridge financially at least half a year, of course without knowing that I will get a scholarship (my parents are not happy, I can tell you, as they are not able to support me any longer!)
• conclusion: FRUSTRATING

Today another one of my options was cut short: New Zealand

• I applied for a post as language assistent in New Zealand a few months back and only 2 weeks ago I was told that I managed the first round, which means that my application was sent by the German authorities to New Zealand and now they have to decide if they want to have me
• the problem from the beginning was that no one in Munich (home to my federal state authority for teachers) was able to tell me if the two years of teacher training which follow my academic degree can be combined with this language assistent post
• so far the only thing I knew was: This language assistent job might reduce my two years of teacher training by one year (great!), but I can only apply for a reduction three months after I started my job at the school in Germany (which is in September, so I cannot apply before December) and there is no guarantee that the commitee allows a reduction (still okay)
• also no one was able to tell me whether I am allowed to start my teaching post at all and whether I am allowed to adjourn my two years of practical teaching
• today I got an e-mail telling me that they recommend to complete a teaching assistent post BEFORE I start my practicals - well, and what do I do instead? Twiddle my thumbs?
  
• How do I finance half a year before the school year in New Zealand starts in February? Especially as the posts are not distributed until November - which might result in the fact that I bridge half a year and then I do not get a job and so six months were absolutely wasted???
• conclustion: FRUSTRATING

Anything positive this week? It is hard to find something positive among all these developments. I don't know, everything I started or worked for over the last few months (even years) seems to become useless in the end - mostly because of bureaucratic nonsense. I was told that a language post before my practicals would of course be more useful, especially for my language competence. Hey, I have already spent a year as Gap-assitent in London, 2 semesters at Limerick University and last summer I spent another 4 months teaching at RMS - I think I have spent more time abroad than 95% of my collegues here at university who finished their degree with me....

Don't ask me, I am a bit depressed and frustrated. I hope that my exams which start next Thursday will be alright - nothing to look forward to, but something to do where positive results are at least possible!!!